That’s Not What I Was Taught!
In recent days, my beloved wife, Anna, has been conversing with a friend who has left The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I don’t think she’s actually had her baptism invalidated or anything, but the point is that she’s no longer attending Church and is identifying herself as an “ex-Mormon.” The saddest part is that when asked why she left the Church, this friend consistently cites a so-called “doctrine” that is actually diametrically opposed to what the Church teaches, but that she has somehow gotten into her head as the end-all and be-all of so-called “Mormonism.”
I’ve actually interacted with plenty of self-described “exmos,” over the years, and as said interactions have forced me to study my own faith in greater depth, I have been somewhat bruised and battered along the way, but am ultimately much stronger for the experience. What has never ceased to amaze me, though, is how similar almost all of their stories are. Regardless of the specific issues they cite (which eventually gravitate towards conformity, anyway), their initial complaints almost invariably revolve around the same issue plaguing Anna’s friend. It’s obviously a widespread problem, and it got me to wondering how so many people have such ridiculously inaccurate ideas about the gospel. Yesterday morning, I realized the answer: it often comes down to the parents. Allow me to illustrate:
One of the most basic tenets of the Church of Jesus Christ is prayer. In conjunction with this, most Latter-day Saints will regularly fast. While different religions fast in different ways, for Latter-day Saints a fast consists of going without food or drink for a period of time: usually about 24 hours, with “skip two meals” as a rule of thumb. (Example: I have dinner on Saturday night, skip breakfast and lunch on Sunday, and have dinner on Sunday night. By skipping two meals, I’ve fasted for roughly 24 hours.)
An even more basic tenet of the Church, however, is the concept of agency and self-government. Very rarely will one find the Church meting out commandments in exacting detail, preferring instead to give general parameters and allow each individual to make his or her own choices. So it is with fasting: do I skip breakfast and lunch or lunch and dinner? Do I fast from midnight to midnight? May I take an aspirin while fasting? etc.. The commandment is generic; the application is specific. Thus, in a 2008 address, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated:
Despite all this, this woman has children who may, at some point, decide to stop actively following Christ, to remove themselves from full activity in His Church. (I haven’t seen this woman in years, so perhaps one or more already has.) And if her children don’t, perhaps her grandchildren—who have also been taught by their parents, this woman’s children, not to brush their teeth while fasting—might do so. Eventually, it’s going to occur: one of this woman’s descendants will become a less-active member of the Church. And when this occurs, s/he may seek out other “exmos” on the Internet and start swapping stories about all the stupid things “Mormons” do. And that’s where the fun really starts. I have seen it, more times than I can count. Having left the Church, these now-inactive members will announce to the world that “Mormons can’t even brush their teeth while fasting!”
The worst part is that, if anyone dares to contradict them, that person will be made out as the ignorant one, because everyone knows that “Mormons” can’t brush their teeth while fasting. It’s just that active Church members don’t know what the Church really teaches, or they wouldn’t still be active in the Church. (In other words, the fact that the other 14 million Latter-day Saints have never heard of this supposed “doctrine” just goes to show how adept the Church is at hiding it from them. Of course, nobody knows exactly why Church leaders would keep making up new doctrines and not telling anyone about them, but that’s apparently not important to their argument.)
Of course, the “doctrine” won’t stop there. Once an “exmo” has posted this information, his online friends will then start repeating the supposed “doctrine” in other forums. Within a year or two, the “doctrine” has been spread all over the ’Net, even finding its way into ostensibly reputable publications. Five, ten, perhaps even 50 years from now, that post—and dozens of other posts repeating the so-called “doctrine”—will still be out there on the Internet, popping up in general-consumption articles about “Mormonism,” and just generally teaching the world yet another thing that those weirdo “Mormons” supposedly believe.
I could go on, but I hope my point is made. Parents, instructors, leaders, we need to teach our children the truths of the gospel, and that means we need to know them, ourselves. We each have misconceptions, but we must learn the gospel well enough to root them out. We each have opinions, but we must let them be known as such. We each have a responsibility to teach the rising generation, to help them be better than we are. Only in this way can the Church of Jesus Christ continue to grow, and continue to bless the lives of people everywhere.
I’ve actually interacted with plenty of self-described “exmos,” over the years, and as said interactions have forced me to study my own faith in greater depth, I have been somewhat bruised and battered along the way, but am ultimately much stronger for the experience. What has never ceased to amaze me, though, is how similar almost all of their stories are. Regardless of the specific issues they cite (which eventually gravitate towards conformity, anyway), their initial complaints almost invariably revolve around the same issue plaguing Anna’s friend. It’s obviously a widespread problem, and it got me to wondering how so many people have such ridiculously inaccurate ideas about the gospel. Yesterday morning, I realized the answer: it often comes down to the parents. Allow me to illustrate:
One of the most basic tenets of the Church of Jesus Christ is prayer. In conjunction with this, most Latter-day Saints will regularly fast. While different religions fast in different ways, for Latter-day Saints a fast consists of going without food or drink for a period of time: usually about 24 hours, with “skip two meals” as a rule of thumb. (Example: I have dinner on Saturday night, skip breakfast and lunch on Sunday, and have dinner on Sunday night. By skipping two meals, I’ve fasted for roughly 24 hours.)
An even more basic tenet of the Church, however, is the concept of agency and self-government. Very rarely will one find the Church meting out commandments in exacting detail, preferring instead to give general parameters and allow each individual to make his or her own choices. So it is with fasting: do I skip breakfast and lunch or lunch and dinner? Do I fast from midnight to midnight? May I take an aspirin while fasting? etc.. The commandment is generic; the application is specific. Thus, in a 2008 address, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated:
“We who are General Authorities and general officers are called to teach His general rules. You and we then lead specific lives and must seek the Lord’s guidance regarding specific circumstances. But there would be mass confusion and loss of gospel promises if no general ideal and no doctrinal standard were established and, in our case today, repeated.” (Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, 9 February 2008)…or perhaps even better, from the Lord Himself:
“For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.” (Doctrine & Covenants 58:26)So this returns me to the fast. I have a friend (who shall remain nameless) who believes that, in order to comply with the spirit of the fast, she may not brush her teeth while fasting. This woman is a very nice woman, a faithful Latter-day Saint, the sister of a General Authority of the Church. I have no doubt that she made this decision prayerfully, nor that the decision is the right one for her. I just don’t happen to subscribe to the same thought process, and while it may be right for her, it is definitely not a doctrine of the Gospel.
Despite all this, this woman has children who may, at some point, decide to stop actively following Christ, to remove themselves from full activity in His Church. (I haven’t seen this woman in years, so perhaps one or more already has.) And if her children don’t, perhaps her grandchildren—who have also been taught by their parents, this woman’s children, not to brush their teeth while fasting—might do so. Eventually, it’s going to occur: one of this woman’s descendants will become a less-active member of the Church. And when this occurs, s/he may seek out other “exmos” on the Internet and start swapping stories about all the stupid things “Mormons” do. And that’s where the fun really starts. I have seen it, more times than I can count. Having left the Church, these now-inactive members will announce to the world that “Mormons can’t even brush their teeth while fasting!”
The worst part is that, if anyone dares to contradict them, that person will be made out as the ignorant one, because everyone knows that “Mormons” can’t brush their teeth while fasting. It’s just that active Church members don’t know what the Church really teaches, or they wouldn’t still be active in the Church. (In other words, the fact that the other 14 million Latter-day Saints have never heard of this supposed “doctrine” just goes to show how adept the Church is at hiding it from them. Of course, nobody knows exactly why Church leaders would keep making up new doctrines and not telling anyone about them, but that’s apparently not important to their argument.)
Of course, the “doctrine” won’t stop there. Once an “exmo” has posted this information, his online friends will then start repeating the supposed “doctrine” in other forums. Within a year or two, the “doctrine” has been spread all over the ’Net, even finding its way into ostensibly reputable publications. Five, ten, perhaps even 50 years from now, that post—and dozens of other posts repeating the so-called “doctrine”—will still be out there on the Internet, popping up in general-consumption articles about “Mormonism,” and just generally teaching the world yet another thing that those weirdo “Mormons” supposedly believe.
I could go on, but I hope my point is made. Parents, instructors, leaders, we need to teach our children the truths of the gospel, and that means we need to know them, ourselves. We each have misconceptions, but we must learn the gospel well enough to root them out. We each have opinions, but we must let them be known as such. We each have a responsibility to teach the rising generation, to help them be better than we are. Only in this way can the Church of Jesus Christ continue to grow, and continue to bless the lives of people everywhere.
Comments
Post a Comment