Lack of Enthusiasm

Last night I was waiting for my older daughter, Leah, to emerge from her first-ever Activity Days when I overheard an interesting conversation. The participant doing most of the talking was a woman I did not recognize, but whom I’m guessing is one of our ward’s many new members. (Not only have we had quite a few recent convert baptisms in our ward, but perhaps 40-50% of active ward members are married-student families, so transience is very much a fact of life.) Regardless, the woman seemed to be a member of the recently reorganized Young Women’s leadership, which will become relevant in a minute.

The other participant—if you can call her that—was a young girl whom I also did not recognize, but I suspect is a member of the Spanish branch with which we combine for youth and Primary activities. Judging by her appearance, the girl was probably somewhere in the vicinity of her 12th birthday, and the conversation sounded like the adult leader trying to encourage her to participate in the Young Women’s program—a laudable endeavor, particularly when language barriers and different unit leadership might make full participation more difficult.

I don’t know how the discussion began, but the part where I came in began as follows, and I quote: “The great thing about Young Women’s is that you can learn to do things like cook! You need to be able to cook so you can be a good mom, and when you live on your own, right?”

I was frankly flabbergasted. It’s nice that she added the “live on your own” part as an ostensible afterthought, but while providing healthy meals for one’s family is very important, I would hardly think being a good cook is a requirement for being a good mom. Suffice to say: I was unable to understand the girl’s mumbled response, but the lack of enthusiasm was palpable.

The woman then continued: “We do lots of other things, too! Like sports, crafts, sewing… do you like to sew?”

I’m sure my eyes were widening, by this point. While I did appreciate the inclusion of sports, it shocked me that in trying to sell the Young Women’s program to an emerging youth, this sister was again focusing on the practical instead of the fun. Perhaps wherever she just moved from, young girls find it exciting to learn how to do their chores properly? Regardless, it certainly didn’t seem to translate to this particular girl, as she again mumbled a response too low for me to hear.

As I had to move on, I don’t know how the conversation continued, but I really hope the portion I did hear was not representative of the whole. Don’t get me wrong: cooking and sewing and perhaps even crafting are important skills to have, and it’s wonderful that the youth programs of the Church teach both young women and young men to develop them. To be honest, Leah actually loves that kind of thing, and she’d probably be ecstatic to further develop her talents in those areas. But to tie her self-worth to her ability to cook and sew? I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy it.

So now I open it up to my friends: is this how the Young Women’s program tends to be? If you were in Young Women’s as a youth, was that the focus? I’d really like to know, so I know what to prepare my daughters for—and what suggestions to make, if I ever happen to be in a position to do so.

Thanks! :-)