An Invitation
I’m going to say something that may not be popular, something which might even cause some people some hurt. I preface this by saying that I grew up in the New York City area, where people have the reputation for being rude and unfriendly, which I personally find insanely laughable. You want to find rude and unfriendly, go to the Midwest or to Utah; I’ve experienced quite a bit of each, in both places. Conversely, New Yorkers are very open and accepting; we just don’t beat around the bush. We tell it like it is and expect everyone to accept that, because in our world, everyone does. If you don’t want to hear me tell it like I see it, feel free to read something else.
Yesterday afternoon, Elder Neil L. Andersen (of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) addressed the 184th Annual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In his discourse, he reiterated two of the Church’s consistent positions:
1) We should respect everyone and bully no one.
2) Marriage is marriage. Words have meaning, and the meaning of “marriage” has never been in question. Even if the entire world decided to ignore that simple fact, the Lord has not done so and presumably never will.
As expected, the Internet has exploded—again—with people claiming that the Church is out of touch, just like they do after every single General Conference. I suppose this is major news to them: God Says the Same Thing He Said Six Months Ago, and a Year Ago, and 18 Months Ago, and…. However, there are also some more interesting statements from Church members who disagree with the Church’s position (as is, of course, their right), and more particularly from some Latter-day Saints who identify as gay and are thus feeling like outcasts, like the Church views them as inferior and unworthy and whatever other adjective you might want to use. It is to these people that I address the remainder of my comments.
Almost 20 years ago, I was a full-time missionary serving in Spain when then–President of the Church Gordon B. Hinckley gave a General Conference address entitled Women of the Church. Basically, the point of the talk was to discuss how amazing women are and what an incomparable contribution they make to the Kingdom of God, but I got a very different message out of it. As I left the Conference that evening, I decided to meet with my mission president and inform him that I was leaving the mission early. Thanks to President Hinckley’s remarks, I had come to the inescapable conclusion that I was scum, that by virtue of my genitals I could never hope to do as great a work as the sisters with whom I served. Indeed, if I labored all my life to follow my Savior and became as close to perfect as is possible in mortality, I might possibly become good enough to lick the dirt off the feet of the most debased and wicked woman who ever walked the face of the earth.
My point is: I think I understand where you’re coming from. I know what it’s like to hear a prophet of God address the world and, in my mind, tell me that I’m worthless. I know what it’s like to walk out of Conference in tears as I consider that no matter what I do, I’ll never be good enough to warrant God’s love and consideration, much less that of the Church. If you’re feeling this way, I truly empathize with you because I really do know, because I really have been there. And because of this, I’d like to encourage you to do the same thing I did when faced with a similar problem:
Grow up.
I mean it. Seriously. Just… grow up. God doesn’t hate you. The Church doesn’t hate you. You know who’s putting those thoughts in your mind? Satan. And it’s not because you’re evil, either. Satan doesn’t waste his time on evil people; his every effort is trying to bring down the good and prevent God’s work from progressing. The fact that you feel this way is proof that you’re on the right track. You’re trying to do the right thing, and he’s trying desperately to stop you. Heck, if you weren’t trying to do the right thing, you wouldn’t care what the General Authorities say. You probably wouldn’t even know what they say! And you know what? The fact that you do know makes your Heavenly Parents more happy than you can possibly imagine!
So seriously, folks: grow up. Yes, you’re dealing with a crappy situation. Don’t stop dealing with it! Yes, you’re having trouble figuring out how you fit into God’s plan. Quit whining and figure it out! Yes, it seems like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. Well, guess what: if there weren’t, it would be a cave. Find that light and run to it. That’s what I’ve been doing every day of my life, for almost twenty years. That’s what we’re all supposed to do. It’s called growth, and we all could use some more of that.
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