Men and Meetings, Part II
If you missed my last post, check it out. Otherwise, here’s Part II. :-)
I’m now going to conclude my thoughts by pointing out something I’ve spoken of, many times before: the issue of how men are treated in the Church. I don’t claim to know how things were done in the 1980s or the 1880s or whatever other era, but I can certainly say that in the almost 20 years I’ve been a member of the Church, men have been treated like crap. This past Sunday would be a perfect example.
Last Sunday, Anna and I attended the Auburn Hills Ward in the Wichita, Kansas Stake. Following the youth speaker, the second speaker was a single mother in her mid-30s, whose topic was womanhood. The crux of her talk—which point she kept revisiting—was, “I don’t claim to know what’s it’s like to be a man, but being a woman is really hard.” The implication, of course, was that women’s roles are so difficult to balance that merely filling them at all is enough to warrant praise.
Following her remarks, the final speaker was a member of the high council. While I never caught the exact subject of his talk, the crux of it—again, a point he revisited again and again—was that we men are such idiots that there’s no way we could ever do anything right without the strength of a good woman to guide us.
This is the feeling I’ve gotten from the Church. In any given General Conference, there is at least one talk about how amazing women are, and at least one talk (generally during the Priesthood Session) about how horrible men are. When I was a full-time missionary in Spain, President Gordon B. Hinckley did the honors of telling me why the fact that I have a penis made me unworthy to so much as lick the feet of anyone with a vagina. It was bad enough that I went to my mission president and informed him that, since I obviously didn’t have the slightest possibility of helping anybody, I might as well go home.
Then we turn around and hear it in the wards and branches: the constant mantra that “men have the Priesthood and women have motherhood”—as if fatherhood is an unworthy pursuit and we need something better to fill our time. How about this one: “Men hold Priesthood offices so that they have opportunities to serve. Since service comes naturally to women, they don’t need to hold an office in the Priesthood.” Oh, okay. So the most depraved female in history is okay without any help, but I need God to ordain me to an office with the authority to create a universe or five, so that I can have some hope of rising to her level?
Anyway, as usual, I know I’ve strayed quite a bit from the original point, so let’s bring it back to our original topic at hand: last I checked, manhood and womanhood go hand in hand. Neither one is complete without the other. Ergo, it seems likely that a council comprised of both men and women would ultimately be more effective than one or the other. But when one comes right down to it, that’s not the way God has set things up. The Church is not governed by men nor women; it’s governed by revelation through the authority of the Priesthood. Our universe is likewise presided over by a three-Man council, governing through the authority of the Priesthood. Does this mean that women’s needs and input aren’t taken into consideration? In Their case, definitely not. In ours, it probably does, perhaps quite a bit; but I guess ultimately, that’s part of the learning process. If we’re going to grow up to be just like Mom and Dad, then it makes sense that those of us who will be like Dad need to learn to preside without our almighty, already-perfect wives hanging over us.
So in short, yes, it’s probably less effective, but I guess if women were allowed to be part of the presiding councils of the Church, we men would be overrun by your sheer spiritual brilliance and, with no way to improve ourselves, continue to be worthless, forever. As the old saying goes, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs; and we men are apparently those eggs—which, by the way, also come from women. ;-)
I’m now going to conclude my thoughts by pointing out something I’ve spoken of, many times before: the issue of how men are treated in the Church. I don’t claim to know how things were done in the 1980s or the 1880s or whatever other era, but I can certainly say that in the almost 20 years I’ve been a member of the Church, men have been treated like crap. This past Sunday would be a perfect example.
Last Sunday, Anna and I attended the Auburn Hills Ward in the Wichita, Kansas Stake. Following the youth speaker, the second speaker was a single mother in her mid-30s, whose topic was womanhood. The crux of her talk—which point she kept revisiting—was, “I don’t claim to know what’s it’s like to be a man, but being a woman is really hard.” The implication, of course, was that women’s roles are so difficult to balance that merely filling them at all is enough to warrant praise.
Following her remarks, the final speaker was a member of the high council. While I never caught the exact subject of his talk, the crux of it—again, a point he revisited again and again—was that we men are such idiots that there’s no way we could ever do anything right without the strength of a good woman to guide us.
This is the feeling I’ve gotten from the Church. In any given General Conference, there is at least one talk about how amazing women are, and at least one talk (generally during the Priesthood Session) about how horrible men are. When I was a full-time missionary in Spain, President Gordon B. Hinckley did the honors of telling me why the fact that I have a penis made me unworthy to so much as lick the feet of anyone with a vagina. It was bad enough that I went to my mission president and informed him that, since I obviously didn’t have the slightest possibility of helping anybody, I might as well go home.
Then we turn around and hear it in the wards and branches: the constant mantra that “men have the Priesthood and women have motherhood”—as if fatherhood is an unworthy pursuit and we need something better to fill our time. How about this one: “Men hold Priesthood offices so that they have opportunities to serve. Since service comes naturally to women, they don’t need to hold an office in the Priesthood.” Oh, okay. So the most depraved female in history is okay without any help, but I need God to ordain me to an office with the authority to create a universe or five, so that I can have some hope of rising to her level?
Anyway, as usual, I know I’ve strayed quite a bit from the original point, so let’s bring it back to our original topic at hand: last I checked, manhood and womanhood go hand in hand. Neither one is complete without the other. Ergo, it seems likely that a council comprised of both men and women would ultimately be more effective than one or the other. But when one comes right down to it, that’s not the way God has set things up. The Church is not governed by men nor women; it’s governed by revelation through the authority of the Priesthood. Our universe is likewise presided over by a three-Man council, governing through the authority of the Priesthood. Does this mean that women’s needs and input aren’t taken into consideration? In Their case, definitely not. In ours, it probably does, perhaps quite a bit; but I guess ultimately, that’s part of the learning process. If we’re going to grow up to be just like Mom and Dad, then it makes sense that those of us who will be like Dad need to learn to preside without our almighty, already-perfect wives hanging over us.
So in short, yes, it’s probably less effective, but I guess if women were allowed to be part of the presiding councils of the Church, we men would be overrun by your sheer spiritual brilliance and, with no way to improve ourselves, continue to be worthless, forever. As the old saying goes, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs; and we men are apparently those eggs—which, by the way, also come from women. ;-)
Some people would say that all the talk about how women are so wonderful is just overcompensating talk because women in the church are disenfranchised.
ReplyDeletePersonally, think all that talk about how wonderful women are is actually hurtful to women. Women are just as "natural" as men and must constantly work out our own salvation. I also don't believe the talk that women are so much more inherently nurturing. I believe that socialization plays a large role in that and it isn't all inherent. And Priesthood does not equal Motherhood. There is no equivalent to Preisthood. Motherhood and Fatherhood are the equivalents. That's just one woman's thoughts...
Thanks so much for your comments, Mary, and my most sincere apologies that I’m just now noticing that it was still sitting there, requiring moderation. Your thoughts are actually very similar to another discussion I’ve had with Anna and her brother, in the last 72 hours: do women actually hold the Priesthood, anyway? Keep watching this spot, as I’ll be dealing with that question publicly, in the next few days.
ReplyDelete